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Tuesday, October 7, 2014


What to Do If Someone You Know Writes a Book in 3 Steps

Once in a blue moon, someone you know decides to throw in the towel and throw in their creative ingredients into a blender... in hopes of coming up with a well-blended – drink? – book. In reality, if a book were blended, you're probably committing some sort of bookworm sin unless you have a valid reason as to why the book somehow turned into pulp. Believe me, sometimes I do want to simply throw a book into a blender because it was just that terrible. :p
As a book blogger, things sort of get a tad bit awkward when someone I know writes a book. Actually, there's a few local authors I have met, but I don't count it as me knowing them (except for one. I'm keeping the person hush-hush). I mean, I might have to end up reviewing their book! What if I want to throw it out the window?!
Kind of a scary thought. In most cases, I don't mind. Yippee, you're local! More power to you, because technically you have my automatic support unless I've read your book and it's as bad as me writing essays to books I dislike. Or... your book has a lot of my pet peeve. Yes, singular (because only one drives me into a mental institution).

Of course, when it comes down to the peeps I know, I've pretty much resorted into 3 or 4 steps. The last one being optional.


Sign up to become a part of their cheerleading squad. I know I'm a terrible cheerleader – I mean, I'm pretty sure I won't survive 5 steps in heels – but here's a random fact about me: I'm pretty supportive of local authors. So long as the book is as fabulous as the person. If it just flat out sucks, no thank you. Although, it kind of depends if the person is fabulous. If my nemesis wrote a book... well...

THAT'S another story in its entirety.

Maybe the 5 steps in heels was a bit over-exaggerating. I can probably teeter around, but I'm so not going to run in heels. How do you guys even do that? Is it supposed to be some sort of natural superpower or what? :o
But in the case where I'm running for my life from a bunch of flesh eating zombies, then yeah... I'll run in heels. No, I would take them off and carry them with me. It'll serve as a weapon. I mean, it's self defense, right?


Avoid the book AT ALL COSTS. As in, don't even review it. Maybe look at it, take a peek, but don't read it. Or review it. But if you don't read it, you can't review it, right? Worst scenario is the person demanding why (if they're mean) or making puppy faces at you. The puppy faces may or may not be cute.


Reluctantly read the book... and review it. Eventually the day will come when said author persuades you to read their book... and you do. Worst case scenario is you hating the book and writing a negative review. But if that's the case, do avoid the person... unless you like awkward situations.
Or you're just really bold and tell them flat out their book sucked. Points if you get away alive.


If the review is negative, rip it to shreds. Or hide it. Burn it in the fireplace. Make a paper s'more – but don't eat it! Whatever floats your boat. Then just tell the person their book sucked in a nice way, find a positive aspect of their book and ask for forgiveness. The forgiveness might not be necessary if they understand not everyone's going to like their book. Oh, and make sure they don't see whatever you did to the review of their book. That wouldn't go over well.

Thankfully, I've pretty much resorted to around steps one or two. I haven't come across three yet, but it might... one day.

What do you do when someone you know writes a book? Are you biased? Completely honest no matter who it is? Yes, it includes your mom.

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Sophia is the owner and founder of Bookwyrming Thoughts, but also found on various parts of the internet. She's a 19-year-old communications major who has weird humor and doesn't fit the Asian stereotype (maybe a little). Books, chocolate, technology, and music are among some of her favorite things. For more of her work, visit her personal website.